If you are getting ghosted and it hurts you, acknowledge your pain and the gravity of how you feel. Make. No. Mistake. This behavior is fucked up. No matter what someone else does, DO NOT make someone else’s emotional crimes your reality. DO NOT TAKE SOMEONE ELSE’S SHITTY BEHAVIOR PERSONALLY. How someone chooses to behave is about them, not you.
If you take ghosting personally, if someone treats you like dirt and you don’t bounce back, if you get deeply weighted by how others treat you and you have a hard time knowing your worth without someone else reflecting it then this could be showing up in your life to help you see how you are ghosting your own emotions.
A lot of you, without your awareness ghost your own emotions and don’t have a good relationship with your emotional world. When you feel things, especially feelings that make you uncomfortable, you might avoid feeling, you might avoid acknowledging what’s coming up for you. You avoid yourself, and since it’s you avoiding you in small doses, rather than a big whopper of an experience like ghosting, it might not be as obvious to you as when someone does something so extreme that you are astonished and outraged.
You don’t deserve to be treated as insignificant, no matter what personal issues you might have. Use whatever negatives come in to your life to reflect it back to your own relationship to yourself; look if there are any blind spots. It may be the case, it may not be the case, but be curious, just to be sure.
Sometimes shitty things happen to good people, and there is no deeper meaning to ghosting other than you are living in a disconnected world. But what I have found in my life is if something is showing up and it’s impacting me in a certain way, that it’s pointing to something inside of me I need to look at. If you are getting ghosted, you must look for self-neglect happening on any level inside of you. It doesn’t condone the behavior of the ghosting, but often times how someone treats you is a reflection of how you treat some aspects of yourself.
While many people want to blame ‘ghosting’ on external factors such as the rise of technology, and deflect personal accountability, as if humans are stupid barn yard animals who can’t manage their primitive drives or afflictions, in this post, I chose to focus on the human emotional component driving this issue.
Humans are intelligent beings. Humans have the capacity to choose and can exercise free will, and take responsibility for their inner lives and establish healthy boundaries with external forces. While technology such as online dating at adultfrienedfinder may be an aspect feeding and creating the disconnect, I don’t buy using technology as a scapegoat for what ‘ghosting’ is reflecting about the emotional/psychological dysfunction between humans and objects, personal power and giving that power to ‘things.’ This is a much broader topic. I will write a subsequent article on the role of technology in this dilemma, for it is a factor I need to explore separately. This article will be published next week.
P.S. I will be writing more on this topic of emotional intelligence and cultivating it. If you liked this post, and you it make you want to know more. Stay tuned for my next few articles also about rumoquin. Also, if you liked this piece and you think it can benefit others, please share it!!!
If you have been ghosted, if you are putting up with behaviors that are hurting you, or if you want to start to grow these aspects of you that you’re afraid of, I do mentor around this.